Today I was fantasizing about shooting everyone I don’t like to the moon, where they could live together in a colony of asshats for the rest of their natural born lives. Basically, The Real World: Moon, but with celebrities who suck. Because I’ve never met an idea I didn’t think deserved a blog, this now exists. Updated as frequently as I want.
Look at this guy. Before you ask, no, this is not a Sigma Pi brother enjoying spring break in Cabo. This is a guy who used to be famous for being on a show where he played a muscle-bound meathead who called his girlfriend “Mama”. Then the show ended and we forgot about him, but then he was on that all-male version of The View, because people care, and then he was on Dancing With the Stars, and now he’s in a Chorus Line. You’d think, safely ensconced in the dark, dank corner that is the Great White Way, he’d be out of our hair. BUT NO.
Someone saw fit to give him a publishing contract. FOR A CHILDREN’S PICTURE BOOK. There is nothing I hate more than a celebrity picture book, especially one written by a celebrity who has yet to demonstrate the ability to read.
Drink up, Lopez, because you just got a one-way ticket to the moon.
